Linkitude

Reese trashes Britney, Lindsay and Paris, joins rest of world (DailyStab)

Fake Pete Doherty rumours…oh, if only he didn’t exist at all (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie’s suspicious pulchritude (EvilBeetGossip)

George Clooney…sigh (CelebritySmack)

KFed Keeps Kidz (Defamer)

Ann Coulter, 46, wants to take your vote away (Jezebel)

Pamela Anderson outclasses her ex…snark? We got nuthin’ (I’mNotObsessed)

Kate Beckinsale makes a security guard’s day (Celebslam)

Brad Pitt and George Clooney make housecalls? (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston is tabloid gold (HolyCandy)

Leo DeCaprio’s chick is a chicken (NYPost)

Rootin’ tootin’ Wayne Newton, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Violet Affleck is the Queen of Hollywood (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Ancient Egyptian god Anubis is happy to see you (WOWreport) (reference)

Jenna Bush’s apple doesn’t fall far from the Bush (Jossip)

Perez Hilton’s shiner, Hugh Hefner, and the hookers (PerezHilton)

Britney can drive, y’all! Lock up your Kias! (People)

Ben Affleck, Superdad! (OK!Magazine)

Let’s not get the wrong idea about Angelina here

I’m certifiably crazy…for you baby!

Having exhausted the number of ways she can “accidentally” fall out of her dress, what does Bai Ling have to do in order to make news nowadays? Lately she’s been subscribing to the “let’s bring up something that happened between me and Angelina Jolie years ago” school of PR:

“I felt this energy between us, when we look at each other there’s an energy, an attraction. “Her eyes transfer a sexual energy to me that makes her irresistible.” And, according to Ling, Jolie felt a connection too. She adds, “Angelina said, ‘Next time we’ll play lovers.’ We could have hooked up, but it just wasn’t the right time or place. But she told me, ‘My heart’s open to you.’ “She is like me. She is totally open sexually.”

Oh Bai, so uninhibited but yet so naive at the same time.  This is Angelina Jolie we’re talking about here.  She’s like that with everyone.  When she says “Next time we’ll play lovers”, it’s her way of making small talk. In terms of social pleasantries, ”my heart’s open to you” is about on par with “Nice weather we’re having”.

And in the magazine cover below, in case any of you were trying to read something irresistibly sexual into it, that is merely a re-creation of what she looks like early in the morning, standing in line at the local convenience store because she’s run out of milk at home.   So, no hard feelings on Bai Ling’s end I hope.

Hi, I'm Angelina and this is the luckiest strategically placed sheet in the world

The Jumpsuit

Manolo asks, sort of like the one your Aunty Thelma used to wear. You remember her, with the cigarettes and the raspy voice, the three ex-husbands and the bosom that touched her knees.

Nic Cage’s face off with weirdo

Like most of his onscreen characters, Nic Cage certainly knows to handle the situation when things get freaky:

Cage called a security guard at his gated community around 1:30 a.m. Monday after he saw a man wandering inside his home and wearing one of the actor’s jackets, police Lt. Craig Fox said.
Cage was upstairs with his wife and son, and reported seeing the man standing at the door of a bathroom.
“He was standing there naked — except for the leather jacket,” Fox said.

Funnily enough the naked intruder was a tailor – like he of all people would know better than to walk around without a well-cut pair of pants. What next, a hatless milliner breaks into Nic Cage’s home in search of one of his cowboy chapeaus?

Or a bald peruker attemps to burgle Nic’s collection of highly authentic hairpieces? Hmmm..maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

The Answer

Manolo says, to the question, who is bringing the sexy back?

Who would be a better boyfriend?

One makes crappy movies and blames La Lopez, the other makes creepy moves but stays loyal to El Gomez.

The Linkinator

Ginny Weasley aughtta lay the Cruciatus Curse on her stylist (GoFugYourself)

The return of Posh and Becks (DailyStab)

$400,000 for cosmetic work and none leftover to do her roots (SeriouslyOMGWTF?)

Mug Shots of the Rich and Infamous, the Slideshow! (Turtlebutt)

Bernhard Willhelm designs not exactly flying off the shelves (The Guardian)

Johnny Rotten vs Sting: An Oldies Grudge Match! (AgentBedhead)

Howard Stern sues Rita Cosby for $60 million (Defamer)

Britney’s new, unimproved life (CelebritySmack!)

Britney is no Garbo, Chris Crocker (Dlisted)

Britney doesn’t have her kids, but she’ll always have a sex tape rumour (HolyCandy)

Eva Longoria’s Paris Hilton sex tape spoof (I’mNotObsessed)

Good news for Amy Winehouse! Her husband abandoned her (PopOnThePop)

H.O. claiming bloom off George Clooney’s rose (HollywoodOffender)

Lindsay Lohan goes pumpkin-picking with a commando (CelebDirtyLaundry)

AshKutch/DeMoore take in a game (LaineyGossip)

A cautionary tale

Clay dough

Jenna Bush’s new book, ‘Ana’s Story: A Journey of Hope,’ is based on her experiences working for UNICEF in Latin America. Given the UNICEF connection, it was only appropriate for Clay Aiken to attend the book launch in his official capacity as a US Fund for UNICEF Ambassador. 

What you may not know is that Clay was also attending in his personal capacity, as a man with a story to tell.  I wish him luck in persuading Jenna to pen another book, titled ’Clay’s Story: A Journey of Pies’.