As we all know, Emma Thompson is awesome

Emma Thompson saving mister banks

Emma Thompson saving mister banks

It’s Emma Thompson to the rescue! Here she demonstrates that she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty when the mission calls for her to intervene in the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes media war. Ms Thompson provided crucial assistance at locating Mister Cruise’s head and removing it from its hiding place in time for the court appearance.

Natalie Portman’s Dior Airbaby Debuts

Natalie Portman air baby

Natalie Portman air baby

And doesn’t she look thrilled about it? Looks like 2013 is the year of ostentatiously artificial hair dyes and air babies. Because 1983 was the year of Sequin Tube Top.

Wednesday Caption Contest: Tilda Swinton Edition

Tilda Swinton as a PreRaphaelite Surrealist object

Tilda Swinton as a PreRaphaelite Surrealist object

You know what to do; do it in the comments for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes.

Happy Halloween from the Crypt!

Kate Moss Jamie Hince and Lila

Kate Moss Jamie Hince and Lila Grace

Now THIS is an adorable family group of Halloween costumes. Lila is a zombie, Kate Moss is Helena Bonham Carter’s Period, and Jamie Hince is a dead ringer for Pete Doherty.

Happy Halloween from Ayyyy!

Princess Charlene is Disney's newest villainess: Melancholia

Princess Charlene is Disney’s newest villainess: Melancholia

Looking like Maleficent’s blonde evil cheerleader niece, Princess Charlene represents dutifully, as she always does. The day when she finally snaps, I hope the paparazzi are there to see it.

If you’ve left things till far too late and still haven’t got a good costume (what, no Guy Fieri?) and decided you haven’t got the bod (or the tolerance for synthetics) to do a Miley Cyrus, never fear. We’ve got a do-it-yourself gecko costume from the same YouTube genius as brought you Miley. Enjoy?

Also, we toast the return of Chloe!

If you neglected Halloween altogether, you can always print yourself out an Anonymous mask and hang out till November 5 and the Million Mask March.

Well, you can’t blame him

Guy Fieri attacked his hairdresser today.

Guy Fieri's actual hair. Not an aerial photo of Hurricane Sandy.

Guy Fieri’s actual hair. Not an aerial photo of Hurricane Sandy.

Well, wouldn’t you?

In related news, there are actual Guy Fieri wig/brostache sets for sale, should you be desperate to add the finishing touch to your Douchebag costume this year.

Fieri falls down

There, that’s an improvement!

Show me your fangs!

The Return of Gaga!

The Return of Gaga!

Even the bodyguards had to admit that Gaga’s audition for Tinkerbell’s Knocked Up: The Omen VII was a little over the top.

Mister Lawrence for Miss Dior

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

Jennifer Lawrence is just thrilled to be here

And here we have the lovely and talented Jennifer Lawrence, appearing for Miss Dior the fragrance, which is delicate, classic, young, and probably the scent your grandmother wore the night she lost her virginity (if she wasn’t the “Charlie” class). The House of Dior is one of the greatest design houses and is currently having a wonderful year both in terms of design and in terms of PR, having hung on to the beautiful and fragrant Natalie Portman and now snagged the hottest young woman in Hollywood to represent their most youth-appropriate fragrance.

So it is a mystery to me why they’ve done her up like a very expensive and sweaty butch barfly at last call, but they have. What is more heinous still is having the brass to release this photo in the US with a crappy crop job just to cut out the cigarette. If you’re going to go to such lengths to make something acceptable to the American market, do not simultaneously lower the quality by an order of magnitude, because we can, like, tell. It’s condescending, and it’s not as if it can’t be done well: the French version of Emma Watson’s Tresor Midnight Rose commercial had a cigarette in it; the American did not, but you don’t miss it and there is no visible hole where it was. If we’re going to have censorship in the name of bodily purity, let it at least be done well. At seventy bucks a bottle, it’s not like they can’t afford to pay someone competent.

Miss Dior

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