It’s time to just jump in the deep end and start announcing the winners of our Caption Contests. We’ve got a few to catch up on, so we’ll lead off with our Purple Princeling, the ever-elegant Richard Simmons.
Richard Simmons in the swim
G-dog
October 14, 2013 at 9:36 pm #
No caption contest today, since we’re still backlogged from last week, but if you feel like busting out your keyboards to this, by all means go ahead.
We are longtime fans of Pixar’s dreamboatiest animator, Nick Pitera
Here he is performing “This Is Halloween” from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas
Tom Hiddleston says Haters Gonna Hate
And while we’re on the topic of horrible music, here’s the summer’s breakout group Ylvis with the apparently Andrew Lloyd Webber-influenced dubstep masterpiece, “Someone Like Me.”
You know what to do; do it in the comments for fun, completely imaginary prizes. And yes, I’ll catch up on our past winners by Tuesday, so there’s still time to enter the old ones!
Richard Simmons in the swim
Sienna Miller, Ice Queen
Sienna Miller. What to do with Sienna Miller? Well, it’s not like Hollywood is waiting for me to answer the question, but if they were, I would like to think I’d come up with a better answer than this dress. Let’s break it down.
Sienna Miller is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals, and it looks to be natural. Good for her. She also has exactly the body type that looks great in designer clothes, and isn’t afraid to put the work in to make sure she stays that way and makes an impression on the red carpet.
So why, in the name of Duncan Hines, is she wearing what appears to be a thickly-spread layer of buttercream frosting on her tits?
Betty White is a super Cougar
Alpha Cougar Betty White
Watch. Watch and obey. All Hail Queen Betty.
John Travolta frost and tip
It only takes one more sighting to be an official trend!
John Travolta gives serious side-eye to your own head of highlights, for they are less gloriously demarcated than his own, entirely butch, Frost & Tip for Men/Pepe le Pew wig jobbie. Presumably his toupee tech uses this 100% hetero male men’s highlighter kit
Scarjo, yo
You know where to look when you’ve got a need for up to the minute beauty advice and trends: Vogue
Totally straight men’s magazine Esquire has blasted into the Beauty Information Space with their new edition featuring second-time Sexiest Woman Alive Scarlett Johansson. And it’s a blast from the past at that: ladies, I’m pleased to be the first to point out that thanks to this photoshoot, Clairol Nice ‘n Easy Frost & Tip
Clairol Nice ‘n Easy Frost & Tip; note you cannot EITHER frost or tip, but must commit to both frosting AND tipping. At least 20% to the hairdresser.
?
A clear case of spandex poisoning.
Congratulations and imaginary swag to first-time entrant, first-time winner G-dog! And to our talented and lucky winner we will virtually award this magnificent, and completely hypothetical swag:
a super-swanky Spa-N-A-Box Portable Hot Tub
! Because you just never know when you might need to get hot and wet with someone you just met in the parking lot at Zumba, right Richard?