The Grand Old Dopey

Normally, I will go to great lengths to avoid anything to do with country music, particularly looking at the performers thereof. What can I say; I was traumatized by a Dolly Parton impersonator in my youth. The women tend to dress as boring old Hollywood-influenced Tila Tequila-alikes or what you might call the Grand Old Opry Courtesan, Courbet meets Colorado saloonkeeper, an upscale look not to be confused with the ever-popular “Gingham Streetwalker,” a look made famous by JonBenet Ramsay.

And as for the men: if they’re not hiding their receding hairlines under one of those outdated curled cowboy hats that Lisa Bonet popularized back when she still had a career, they’re falling into the dreaded “Let’s Get Creative With Formal Wear” trap. Fortunately, there are Elizabeth and Randy Travis to show them the error of their ways, and the long way you can go on absolutely flawless hair.