The perimeter has been breached

October 23, 2007 in Fashion, Starlets with 8 Comments

Lagerfeld and his goddamn Mongolians!

Aarggggghhhh, this is exactly why my ancestors built the Great Wall in the first place – to keep out the foreign invaders and their loud logos and their fantastical creations of cloth and their penchant for turning any bit of space into a catwalk:

With a section of the awe-inspiring, 4,000-mile-long structure snaking up the mountain behind them, 88 models walked a runway 88 meters long (the esteemed number eight connoting prosperity in China) in an expanded version of Fendi’s spring-summer collection.

It should be the other way round! If it’s serious about being the next superpower China should be conquering other world famous landmarks: Shaolin monks doing flying kicks and shooting energy balls from the Statue of Liberty, drag rickshaw racing over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, mahjong tournaments on the top deck of the Eiffel Tower, a giant wok cook-off in the middle of the Colosseum, and so forth.

Instead we have Zhang Ziyi cuddling up to a two-toned Kate Bosworth in winsome delight, acting as if she had never partied with a giant panda before.  This is most unpatriotic, I say. 

Thank Buddha I don't have panda hips like Kate

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8 Responses to “The perimeter has been breached”

  1. KS October 23, 2007 at 8:44 am #

    Kate Bosworth looks like Cruella DeVille, with only slightly better hair.

  2. Susanna October 23, 2007 at 11:46 am #

    I wonder if the gift bags had a 2007 version of Mao’s Red Book in them?

    Made for Fendi by Mrs. John L. Strong.

    Mao’s Little Red Address Book, also holds calling cards, carried by Tinsley and Fabiola.

  3. teapunk October 23, 2007 at 11:58 am #

    I wonder: Is this panda-fur? Or skunk? Fur is so disgusting – yay, wearing the ultimate luxury of several animals that have been killed in a really, really sickening fashion (no details from me).

  4. Spirit Fingers October 23, 2007 at 12:00 pm #

    Oh yeah, you’ll definitely need to bring one of those little red address books along to a nouveau communist tea party.

  5. Susanna October 23, 2007 at 12:07 pm #

    The ultimate egregious cultural appropriation.

    They have no idea how hilarious the whole concept is.

    In a very haute, envy-inducing manner, of course.

  6. raincoaster October 23, 2007 at 8:56 pm #

    I would pay good money to see Shaolin monks doing flying kicks and shooting energy balls from the Statue of Liberty. That would totally rock.

  7. LBYB October 23, 2007 at 9:57 pm #

    Spirit Fingers, I think you are obsessed with pandas…

  8. raincoaster October 23, 2007 at 10:03 pm #

    I think she skinned a Yeti.