Ayyyy!

I don’t honestly think we’ve had Trent before, so here is the lovely Nine Inch Nails founder in all his post-heroinal, pre-steroidal glory from a few years back. He’s so thick and beefy lately that he’s got double chins behind his ears. Not. A. Good. Look.

Instead of toasting this with the obvious choice of a protein shake, I suggest a nice goblet of Mansinthe: sure, Absinthe tastes appalling, but it sets the goth/emo tone and whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Aw, shaddap and write a poem about the taste of wormwood, whydoncha?

Chairdancing With The Hotties (raincoaster)
Bobby Trendy, Big Mouth (Ayyyy)
Johnny Depp-O-Rama (Lolebrity)
Lindsay Lohan’s badass, coke-seeing escape attempt (CelebrityBeehive)
Heather Graham has swimmer’s ear (AgentBedhead)
David Arquette mistakes Howard Stern for Oprah Winfrey (AmyGrindhouse)
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Suddenly, there’s not a dry seat in the house! (CeleBitchy)
The end days are upon us: even men hate Jennifer Aniston now (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Bad Panda! (DListed)
That’s a whole LOTTA tablecloth, Keira (GoFugYourself)
Taylor Swift is still an angsty teen (HaveUHeard)
Raisin on board! (INeedMyFix)
Perez Hilton, nice guy? (PerezHilton)
Does Britney Spears have a crush on George Stephanopoulos (PoorBritney)
Michael J. Fox goes back to Back to the Future! (SeriouslyOMG)
Adam Sandler makes a lousy lesbian (ASL)

So she’s wearing underwear you can see through her dress, that hideous orange-red lipstick I already blogged about, and Uggs. Trying to look on the bright side: thank GOD she is wearing underwear.

Lock this man up immediately! (Lolebrity)

Red Shoes Diary? (TheManolo)

Fake Furniture? (ManoloHome)

Womb with a view (to controversy) (ManoloBig)

Should In-Laws be outlawed? (ManoloBrides)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Antonio Banderas vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Hitler would have LOVED the Bieb! (AgentBedhead)

We’ll never know what Willis was talking about now (AmyGrindhouse)

Kristen Davis abandons Manolo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Sandra Bullock has superpowers (CeleBitchy)

Britney time travels to 1972 (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cynthia Nixon has three lemons, and one’s not in her bodice (CojoStyle)

The Serbian Justin Bieber (DListed)

Girl, this isn’t a move UP (GabbyBabble)

Tom Cruise, nobody wants your risky business anymore (HaveUHeard)

Cloris Leachman for safe sex, doggy-style (INeedMyFix)

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How does it go? It’s the rusty nail that gets the free refill? Well it SHOULD go that way, dammit!

Gossip blogger blogs about being interviewed about gossip blogging on blog (EvilBeet)

Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! is on teh internets (AgentBedhead)

Bono ar in ur latte, savin da werld (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ahnold will not terminate marriage equality (CelebrityDirt)

Cougartown! (GenosWorld)

I, Guy Richie, vow to love, honour, and obey these 36 line items in the marriage contract… (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Diddy is a daddy, and a hella good cook! (CelebWarship)

The Madonna List (TheRadReport)

Gwen Stefani bucks trend, releases baby pix for free! (PopBytes)

Kevin Smith is the scourge of plumbing fixtures everywhere (CeleBitchy)

Janet Jackson on tour, now with 30% less obscenity (CelebritySmack)

The Trollson Twins clean up well as Vargas Girls (DailyStab)

Russell Band inspires unlikely labour activism at the Beeb (HolyMoly)

Cloris has her own reality show! My prayers have been answered! (Defamer)

Mariah Carey’s Halloween style crumbles (Websters)

Don’t you HATE it when someone shows up in the same dress as you? (DListed)

Bloody Hell! Endometriosis is catching??? (GabbyBabble)

Katherine Heigl is playing games with us (CandyKirby)

The View from the bottom of the barrel (IBBB)

Nicolette Sheridan goes down on her handlers (SeriouslyOMG)

Roger Ebert’s Rules of Order (Gawker)

There’s nothing quite like a B52. Not even a bunch of other B52s.

Do not speak to the Trollsens (CelebWarship)

Jennifer Aniston gets a brain scan (CelebuWreck)

And after all this time, Russia loses the Cold War (Websters)

There’s nothing like a Dame (SeriouslyOMG)

I’m running away to join the Italian police! (WizbangPop)

Russell Brand resigns in sex call scandal (UKPopSugar)

That sure looks like a golden calf to me (Mollygood)

Mariah Carey has a fallback plan (ImNotObsessed)

A Liquor Puzzle? Who invented this, Andrew Volstead? (IBBB)

Melrose Place 2.0? (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan is looking rough (GoFugYourself)

Dannyhott could teach you a thing or two about teh internets (FourFour)

Phil Spector’s wigs are back to haunt your dreams (Defamer)

Victoria Beckham to wear flats for over four consecutive hours!!!! (DailyStab)

Cloris Leachman is an irresistible force of nature (DListed)

Old Kids on the Block, dissected (CelebritySmack)

Olsen Twins Squared? Well, one of them is more rounded anyway (AgentBedhead)

Melissa Etheridge not allowed to adopt her own children (CeleBitchy)

So just have some raspberry wine and pretend to enjoy it.

Hey, drinking makes you lose weight! (CandyKirby)

Madonna dresses down for Halloween (CelebritySmack)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston living la vida rerun (CelebritySmack)

Un-Leded Zeppelin (GabbyBabble)

Sarah Silverman rolled Mary Tyler Moore for her outfit (EvilBeet)

Generation Xer is the sexiest man in the world! (DailyStab)

All the hot men are “of a certain age” (UKPopSugar)

Baby Boomer turning from sexiest man in the world to most surprised-looking woman? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ringo Starr is bigger than Jesus? (CeleBitchy)

Xtina unleashes Pucci power! (DListed)

Cloris Leachman shows off the moves she learned from Shirley Temple (Defamer)

Jon Bon Jovi once again relevant (IBBB)

The Sarah is a huge fan of self-made millionaire The Ivana (Mollygood)

Twiggy is just naturally thin (Websters)