Ayyyy!

In the spirit of Celebrity Dad Faceoff and The Monday Hotness, and with an acknowledging fist-bump to the literary meme going around the Manolosphere, we present Hump Day Links. Uh, no reason I chose that title.

And for, uh, no particular reason other than – ah – my proper esteem for public intellectuals, today I present:

The Men of Vanity Fair

Michael Lewis

William Langewiesche

Sebastian Junger

Uhhh, what was I saying? Right, public intellectuals and literacy and all like that there. Yeah, Dorothy Parker is my homegirl.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a refreshing Cold Shower after that! Now, to the hunk hump links!

Cool nekkid vamps (AgentBedhead)

Guess the hottie (AmyGrindhouse)

Soon to be the biggest-selling gift item ever (BricksAndStones)

Dexter, killer dad (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tots for t*ts (LaughingStork)

RPattz just needs the love of a good six-pack (CeleBitchy)

Clooney, Crawford, and choppers (AccidentalSexiness)

Tom Brady’s sports sisters (CelebritySmack)

Gerard Butler forecasts hot and humid! (TenGossip)

Simon Cowell takes another victim (DailyStab)

Sherlocked Up Holmes (Gawker)

Peter Andre loses 140lbs (GabbyBabble)

Douglas Family Values (EvilBeet)

Gerard Butler has something to tell you (DListed)

Justin Timberlake hits the Open Road (INO)

Leo, topless (JustJared)

The man who invented Himbos (Movieline)

Heath Ledger’s King Rat (UKPopSugar)

Jack Nicholson, party animal (SeriouslyOMG)

It’s a MAN, BABY! (HolyMoly)

Ryan Reynolds, topless (Websters)

Oh, and uh, Graydon Carter, of course:

Blaaaaake, Incarcerated for two more years (CelebritySmack)

The Pope finds your lack of faith disturbing (Lolebrity)

Patrick Swayze is immortal! (DListed)

Courtney Love is such a joker! (AgentBedhead)

No, really, she is (Gawker)

We need to set her up with these guys (CandyKirby)

Jessica Simpson is just like you, haters! (DailyStab)

The Chosen Twins spotted! (BauerGriffin)

Heidi Montag shipped to Iraq (JustJared)

Catastrophe on the set of “&” (Defamer)

Someone airlift Claudia Schiffer out of there before it’s too late (GoFugYourself)

If you turn your wife into you, is that self-abuse? (GabbyBabble)

Sean Connery thinks, strangely enough, that his grown son should get a job (CeleBitchy)

Dance like nobody’s watching…because if you’re Dina Lohan, it’s true! (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan is a sellout (Websters)

Blogger donates kidney, liveblogs it (Mollygood)

Gwyneth’s so British she has a double-decker stroller (PopSugar)

Janet Jackson’s nipple not worth a half-million dollars (SeriouslyOMG)

Gore Vidal will have none of your nonfiction-worship, heathens! (Radar)

Katie Holmes goes shopping for an American Girl (WizbangPop)

Happy Birthday, Cougarman! George Clooney is 47 (ImNotObesessed)

Would you be the filling in an Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn sandwich? (CelebrityDirt)

Attack of the Slash! (TheRadReport)

Dustin Hoffman farts in Tom Cruise’s general direction (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour’s dream date (CandyKirby)

Ashley Olsen is no Elizabeth Hurley; Mary-Kate is no Joey Heatherton (Websters)

Uma Thurman’s stalker is a man of convictions. Felony convictions (GabbyBabble)

Pete Doherty on the loose! Lock up your crack! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mister Amy Winehouse may not be entirely respectable (TheSun)

Kate Moss in bondage, lingerie, matrimony, and gainful employment (AgentBedhead)

La Lohan is light-fingered (TheBlemish)

Ant-Man rides the Iron Man’s shiny coattails to new movie deal (Defamer)

Heath Ledger dolls selling like mad (Gawker)

Mariah Carey may have a brain under that weave: she got a prenup (CeleBitchy)

It’s SIR Kylie now! (UKPopSugar)

Beck is back, bitches! (PerezHilton)

Amy Winehouse’s brain makes a break for it, digging escape hatch now (CelebritySmack)

The Chronicles of Narnia, live at Barnes & Noble (JustJared)

Oprah’s critics pick wrong target (Bossip)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Henry Rollins, gay icon (WendyWayrad)

The honeymoon is over for Beyonce and Jay-Z (Yeeeeah)

Debbie Gibson has a scary Spanish stalker (WhizbangPop)

CNN reporter in speed bust (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities celebrate 420 (CityRag)

A narrow escape for a cinematic classic: Tom Cruise as Edward Scissorhands? (HolyMoly)

Jude Law morphing into your creepy, manorexic uncle (SplashNews)

Heath Ledger may have taken The Method too far (Gabsmash)

Pete Doherty’s credit is good? (TheRadReport)

The incredible Tony Romo impregnation juggernaut? (CelebrityDirt)

Gary Busey soon to be as homeless as he appears! (CelebritySmack)

TomKat is the very picture of marital bliss (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Suri! (CircusHour)

Fundie fashion fun (Mollygood)

Evan Rachel Wood is over Marilyn Manson (or at least her face is) (JustJared)

Mariah Carey walks out on her fans (PerezHilton)

It’s all in the mouseovers, baby! The genesis of the Great Gossip Linkoff here.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Greek! (ICYDK)

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhno! (Queerty)

Drive! (Popsugar)

Majestic? (GoFugYourself)

Cloooooooooooney! (CircusHour)

Miserification! (Yeeeeah)

Infected! (Mollygood)

Single! (DailyStab)

Caffeinated! (JustJared)

NKOTB!!!!!!! (ImNotObsessed)

Heath Ledger Joker hype no joke (Defamer)

The Spitzer Scandal explained by a toddler (Gawker)

Scientology gets what it deserves: Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Madonna knows her limits (GabbyBabble)

Jennifer Aniston’s publicist strikes again (DListed)

Lohan to murder a Manson movie (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes rolls like Lily Munster (Popsugar)

George Clooney’s girlfriend is a model of propriety at all times. KIDDING! (DailyStab)

Britney Spears no longer full of it (Yeeeeah)

Poison drummer poisonous, rapey (CelebWarship)

The Grande Dames of stage and screen make an appearance (EvilBeet)

One Year Ago Today: FedEx and Britney edition (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Oprah helps a girlfriend out (CircusHour)

Chris Crocker finds a new career as a Big Bird impersonator (Mollygood)

Britney to be saved by Lourdes? (Us)

JLo strangles babies? (Jossip)

Wichita, Kansas is not ready for Bruno (PerezHilton)

When you’re a tv star, there’s always someone around to say the bag was his, officer (TheSmokingGun)

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)