Ayyyy!

Happy Birthday, Cougarman! George Clooney is 47 (ImNotObesessed)

Would you be the filling in an Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn sandwich? (CelebrityDirt)

Attack of the Slash! (TheRadReport)

Dustin Hoffman farts in Tom Cruise’s general direction (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour’s dream date (CandyKirby)

Ashley Olsen is no Elizabeth Hurley; Mary-Kate is no Joey Heatherton (Websters)

Uma Thurman’s stalker is a man of convictions. Felony convictions (GabbyBabble)

Pete Doherty on the loose! Lock up your crack! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mister Amy Winehouse may not be entirely respectable (TheSun)

Kate Moss in bondage, lingerie, matrimony, and gainful employment (AgentBedhead)

La Lohan is light-fingered (TheBlemish)

Ant-Man rides the Iron Man’s shiny coattails to new movie deal (Defamer)

Heath Ledger dolls selling like mad (Gawker)

Mariah Carey may have a brain under that weave: she got a prenup (CeleBitchy)

It’s SIR Kylie now! (UKPopSugar)

Beck is back, bitches! (PerezHilton)

Amy Winehouse’s brain makes a break for it, digging escape hatch now (CelebritySmack)

The Chronicles of Narnia, live at Barnes & Noble (JustJared)

Oprah’s critics pick wrong target (Bossip)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Henry Rollins, gay icon (WendyWayrad)

The honeymoon is over for Beyonce and Jay-Z (Yeeeeah)

Debbie Gibson has a scary Spanish stalker (WhizbangPop)

CNN reporter in speed bust (CeleBitchy)

Celebrities celebrate 420 (CityRag)

A narrow escape for a cinematic classic: Tom Cruise as Edward Scissorhands? (HolyMoly)

Jude Law morphing into your creepy, manorexic uncle (SplashNews)

Heath Ledger may have taken The Method too far (Gabsmash)

Pete Doherty’s credit is good? (TheRadReport)

The incredible Tony Romo impregnation juggernaut? (CelebrityDirt)

Gary Busey soon to be as homeless as he appears! (CelebritySmack)

TomKat is the very picture of marital bliss (DailyStab)

Happy Birthday, Suri! (CircusHour)

Fundie fashion fun (Mollygood)

Evan Rachel Wood is over Marilyn Manson (or at least her face is) (JustJared)

Mariah Carey walks out on her fans (PerezHilton)

It’s all in the mouseovers, baby! The genesis of the Great Gossip Linkoff here.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Greek! (ICYDK)

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhno! (Queerty)

Drive! (Popsugar)

Majestic? (GoFugYourself)

Cloooooooooooney! (CircusHour)

Miserification! (Yeeeeah)

Infected! (Mollygood)

Single! (DailyStab)

Caffeinated! (JustJared)

NKOTB!!!!!!! (ImNotObsessed)

Heath Ledger Joker hype no joke (Defamer)

The Spitzer Scandal explained by a toddler (Gawker)

Scientology gets what it deserves: Pete Doherty (AgentBedhead)

Madonna knows her limits (GabbyBabble)

Jennifer Aniston’s publicist strikes again (DListed)

Lohan to murder a Manson movie (CelebritySmack)

Katie Holmes rolls like Lily Munster (Popsugar)

George Clooney’s girlfriend is a model of propriety at all times. KIDDING! (DailyStab)

Britney Spears no longer full of it (Yeeeeah)

Poison drummer poisonous, rapey (CelebWarship)

The Grande Dames of stage and screen make an appearance (EvilBeet)

One Year Ago Today: FedEx and Britney edition (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Oprah helps a girlfriend out (CircusHour)

Chris Crocker finds a new career as a Big Bird impersonator (Mollygood)

Britney to be saved by Lourdes? (Us)

JLo strangles babies? (Jossip)

Wichita, Kansas is not ready for Bruno (PerezHilton)

When you’re a tv star, there’s always someone around to say the bag was his, officer (TheSmokingGun)

Japan goes insane for baseball-playing koala (WithMalice)

Martha Stewarts booze all-stars (Defamer)

Anderson Cooper recovering from cancer surgery (Gawker)

Scandal in the Heath Ledger estate (DailyStab)

Twenty-five most whipped men in the world (Style.com)

The exploitation of Daniel Radcliffe’s bum! Daniel Radcliffe’s Bum! (AgentBedhead)

You can never un-see this, so click at own risk (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend gave her a ring. And not on the phone (Celebitchy)

Madonna still wearing hers, surprisingly (ImNotObsessed)

Cha-cha not the only thing going down on Dancing with the Stars (CelebritySmack)

When bad makeup happens to good C-Listers (DerekHail)

Colin Farrell celebrates his third Sober St Pat’s (ICYDK)

Jen/Owen/Kate/fake triangle fake drama (popbytes)

Shia LaBeouf is on the lam! (CelebNewsWire)

Things white people like: Dinner Parties! (ThingsWhitePeopleLike)

Jenna Jameson to star in Zombie Strippers? Documentary, perhaps? (CircusHour)

The pulling power of celebrity: someone still wants Carrot Top (Craigslist)

Amy Winehouse really could use that infamous red bra right about now (NSFW!!!) (POTP)

Is this the most disappointingly misleading headline ever? (Cityrag)

Halle Berry covers her baby’s bases. Planning a move to Gaza? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Steve Jobs = Cthulhu (Raincoaster)

Heath Ledger leaves Matilda out of his will (Defamer)

Tilda Swinton hates Harry Potter (Gawker)

Happy Birthday, Emma Watson (Derober)

Leonard Cohen is a beautiful loser (AgentBedhead)

1 Clooney, 2 girls, and 1 cup (Celebitchy)

A letter to the mad bomber of Times Square (IBBB)

Anne Heche to scare the horses (GabbyBabble)

Crazy Britney Spears has the craziest stalker. It’s kind of perfect (Yeeeeah)

Big Gay Al is free! Star Jones prepares to coug at a singles bar near you (Cityrag)

Celine Dion is Cousin Itt! (CelebritySmack)

Governor Spitzer refuses to privatize his sex life, shares it with downtrodden call girls (Dlisted)

Pierrot clown claims someone was stealing Kurt Cobain’s money (CircusHour)

America’s Next Top Models are America’s Current Slobbiest Tenants (CelebWarship)

Angelina’s baby bump is in mourning (JustJared)

Cocktail waitress gives up job to marry George Clooney (IDLYITW)

Matthew McConaughey wants to name his son after beer (HollywoodRag)

Jamie-Lynn’s baby bump is bountiful (US)

Lindsay Lohan’s next gig? (TeenyManolo)

Top seven Suri Cruise Conspiracy Theories (BritboyLA)

Britney’s about to meet my mother (TMZ)

Natalie Portman wants to give it away (Jezebel)

Joe Francis is about to skip bail (PerezHilton)

If at first you don’t succeed, you marry Tom Cruise (Mollygood)

Should wives of scandalous men stand by them? (CitizenSugar)

Cindy Crawford notches another kill (HollywoodTuna NSFW!)

Anonymous vs Gossip Bloggers (Valleywag)

Ten worst nude scenes of all time (Papermag)

Mariah Carey, Kenneth the Page, a Unicorn, and a good deal of lycra (Defamer)

Heath Ledger’s Nick Drake music video (raincoaster)

King Arthur’s been dead a long time: Pete Doherty is UK Hero of the Year (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Richie is Roxie Hart in Chicago! (CelebritySmack)

Hillary Winehouse makeover (PrettyOnTheOutside)

The Beautiful People looking…not so much (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Prince Harry’s undercover operation is terminated (DListed)

Britney Spears to join the British army (TheSpoof)

The Croc Widow vs the Croc Papa (PerezHilton)

Pink’s Sapphic sideshow KO’d her marriage (Celebitchy)

The Boozehound Awards (Pajiba)

The littlest Scientologists have names now (EvilBeet)

Karl Lagerfeld’s vampire kisses have no effect on bloodless troll (CircusHour)

Kate Beckinsale is a cunning linguist (Websters)

Victoria’s Secret is out (TheBlemish)

RUN, OWEN WILSON! RUUUUUUUN! (Yeeeeah)

Brad Pitt’s monchichi haircut (CelebWarship)

Katoucha Niane’s body found in the Seine (GabbyBabble)

Best Chest Dressed: the nominees (Defamer)

Last year’s party monsters: this year’s sofa-bound popcorn munchers (Gawker)

Kate Moss will give the Proletariat the shirt off her back (AgentBedhead)

Mmmmmmmm, Johnny Depppppp….prit-tay! (Celebitchy)

Moobs! Mooooooooooobs! (Cityrag)

Amy Winehouse is no commando (Yeeeeah)

Angelina Jolie fainted again (Gabsmash)

Joan Rivers will draw blood (GlitteratiGossip)

Jennifer Lopez is the hardest-working mama in showbiz (CircusHour)

Dr. McDreamy is Versace Man! (PopSugar)

Sex and the City and the Poster and the Trailer (CelebritySmack)

Heath Ledger’s final image (HollywoodBackwash)

George Clooney is a thin-lipped Jelly Belly (DailyStab)

Britney Spears is the $22million dollar woman (HolyMoly)

Paris Hilton airs out the arm pubes (LARagMag)

Aaron Carter jailed! (WeLoveCelebs)

Natalie Portman wants to get nekkid (IDLYITW)

GEORGE CLOONEY IS WORLD’S MOST ADORABLE ADULT HUMAN (Mollygood)

Jenna Fischer’s paparazzi frenzy (JustJared)

Tom Cruise is shrinking! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

The Divine Miss M rises from the dead, returns to play Vegas (disembedded)

These boobs were made for Walken (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan vs Marilyn Monroe: duelling nekkids (CelebritySmack)

Mr. Amy Winehouse OD’s in prison again (Celebitchy)

Joan Collins, home on the range (TheMeatScale)

Chez Suri: The TomKat love nest (Derober)

Heather Mills stands by her man, whether he likes it or not (Dlisted)

Aretha fails to get respect from PETA (Bossip)

Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Kirsten Dunst for being Drunkst (Yeeeeah)

Jakey gets a makeover (PopSugar)

Kathleen Turner made of stone, not romancing (HollywoodRag)

Russell Crowe cast in new Austin Powers flick? (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Lily Allen, stripper chauffeuse (ImNotObsessed)

Poll: Who’s the hottest American President? (HolyCandy)

Travis Barker dates up, Paris Hilton dates down (DailyStab)

Heath Ledger: Saint or Sinner?  (Defamer)

Do women want gossip that hates women? (Jezebel)

Celebrity toplessness reaches critical levels: McConaughey alert! (Gawker)

Mary-Kate is renting out Heath Ledger’s apartment (WOWreport)

Tyra Banks is a mess, not so hot (Gawker)

Heidi Fleiss is a different kind of mess, also not hot (TMZ)

Val Kilmer is the patron Saint of Knight Rider (Defamer)

The Four Horsemen of Scientology (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Eva Mendes escapes from In ‘n Out rehab (EvilBeet)

Jack Klugman not dead, now married. Sorry, ladies! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Rocker Zombie Force UNITE! (Mollygood)

Eighties Zombie on the loose! (HolyCandy)

Aretha Franklin, athlete! (Dlisted)

The Celine Dion workout (GypsyMiller)

Amy Winehouse to enjoy the Grammys from the comfort of her own sofa (USMagazine)

Angelina Jolie on Baghdad, in Baghdad (ImNotObsessed)

Charlize Theron hanging with the hottest pack of trannies in prepdom (DailyStab)

Why is Britney free when Gitmo is full? (CelebritySmack)

Madonna and her Mini-Me (AgentBedhead)

Britney busts loose, boots bodyguard (PerezHilton)

Kirstie Alley’s body thetans get the better of her (Websters)

Heath Ledger had ingested the entire alphabet, but it was all legal (Yeeeeah)

Delta Burke is an institution! Also in an institution (Celebitchy)

Mary-Kate Olsen is a purse hoarding hobbit (ImNotObsessed)

Sienna Miller is pretty, useless (AgentBedhead)

Adrien Grenier is veg-friendly (TheMeatScale)

Kirsten Dunst also institutionalized, not an institution (DailyStab)

Jordana Brewster is going to be a star someday… (Defamer)

Christina Aguilera doesn’t NEED your oxygen! (fourfour)

What happens in Miss Nevada stays in Miss Nevada, at least until she showers (Dlisted)

Brittany Murphy is 65, but her lips are only 3 months old (GoFugYourself)

Scientology is one big, dysfunctional family (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse may swap rehab for prison (CelebParasite)

Flight of the (Steven) Seagal (HolyMoly)

Tabloid roundup: the week in oversexed hobbits (Mollygood)

Who wants to look like a celebrity? Everyone, apparently (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld slaver over the juicy, tender souls of the innocent (CelebritiesEating)

Wacko Jacko will crash the Grammys (CelebritySmack)

Republicans and nerds put the “trade” in sex trade (Jezebel)